The Names, They Are a-Changin'

I changed the name of this Blog! I just thought of it now and decided it was perfect! Huzzah! Feel my might!

WHOA!

Not that might, you pervs! The one to your left.

Yeah, that's better.


Oh yeah, and Happy Everything.

Some Stuff.

Okay, I tried colouring something in Photoshop. I didn't really have fun doing it, and I'm not too happy with the results, but it's pretty damn good for a first attempt, I think. I got really bored and frustrated near the end, so there are clearly unfinished parts, but whatever.

Inks 'n colours by me, of course, artist unknown.

I started a Green Goblin picture, too, but I doubt I'll finish it. I enjoy using a physical medium, rather than digital. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

In other news, I'm really digging this song right now.

Short post today, but I really don't have a lot on my mind right now. Oh yeah, except that you should totally watch Despicable Me. It was awesome.

Now get off my lawn, before I unleash my Squid Gun on you.

Chumps.

bloogitty bloogitty blarg! shmlurien pourlien fmarg?

Maaaaaaaaaaan.

Oh hey! I don't know if any of you guys ever watched The Ripping Friends, but there was this character on there that was called Man-Man, and he had all the powers of a Man, and his outfit and gear and stuff was all flesh coloured. He had a sidekick named Man-Boy. They were supposed to be a Batman and Robin parody. I never liked that show, but those two always stuck with me for some reason, and me starting this post with "Maaaaaaaaaan." made me think of it. I tried to find a picture for youse guys, but I had no luck. Fuck you, I tried alright?

bloogitty bloogitty blarg! shmlurien pourlien fmarg!

.....

I don't really have anything to talk about... Sorry...

Look at this instead!


The part that really gets me is the "Because you demanded it... The most requested villain of all!"

Anyways, welcome to Earf, Bitches!
And stop eatin' all my breaf mints.

POOP. lol...

Jingle Bells, Zombie Smells.

Oh no, Kids! Looks like Santa's had a little Worker's Uprising! Not to worry though, those nice video game ladies will help sort everything out and get Christmas back on schedule!

Inks 'n colours by me.

Catching Crooks Like They're Flies.

I tried some more colouring today. The inks were pretty bad on this to begin with, I must have done it early on in my learnin's. I fixed 'em up best I could, though.



I feel it's worth mentioning (so as not to be judged too harshly) that this is the third picture i have tried to colour properly with coloured pencils, not including a failed TMNT picture a few months ago. I ruined that one pretty good.

Gerroff muh lawn!

Hulk Smash!

As you may know, I ink stuff. Apparently I do it pretty well, but I have nothing to really compare to, other than comics inked by professionals. Today I decided to try colouring something with pencil crayons that I had previosly inked, something I have never managed to do competently. UNTIL NOW! Check it out!



Get off Hulks lawn, Puny Human!

Because It Sounds Nice.

I like vinyl. Not in a kinky sex way, but in a "those big black disks in your parents attic that they say sounds way better then cd's" kind of way. Your parents are right, kiddies. They rock.

I'm not going to get into why I think they are better, as it comes down to a matter of personal opinion, but I do want to share with you some of the albums I own that I dig.

Now I could easily post all my favorites, but I've decided to only post ones that have some special appeal to me, whether it be rarity, or artwork, or just a really solid album. Here they come. Get ready.. NOW!

Neil Young - Comes a Time
Neil Young is simply amazing. I wanted to go see him play in Vancouver a couple years ago, but it was way too expensive; I just couldn't afford it. One of my biggest regrets. This album is fantastic when you just want something mellow to listen to whilst you read. Also, it's good to listen to for any other reason.

The Return of the Jedi Soundtrack Because I'm a huge fucking nerd. I actually picked this up at a church garage sale in Fernie. It cost me fifty cents, I think. It still has all the interior artwork, too, although for some reason there is a hole going through the jacket and record sleeves. Bummer.

Scruffy the Cat - Boom Boom Boom Bingo This one, I actually only bought because I loved the Cover art. And the band name. I was surprised to find that it wasn't actually that bad. i would totally listen to it again, it was kind of a... I don't remember, but I remember not hating it, so that's good. I should probably go back and give it another listen.

Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends. What is there to say about these guys that hasn't been said before? This is probably my favorite S&G album I own, not because it has my favorite song, but because it is really solid from start to finish. Ready for it's hit list? America, Fakin' It, Punky's Dilemma, Mrs. Robinson, Hazy Shade of Winter, At the Zoo... That's most of the album, right there. Nice.

More on my Vinyl later. There are definately more that need to be on this list, but I don't want this post to be too long.

Now get offa my lawn.

Gross!

EWWW!

I just took out the garbage, and there was a giant dead rat in the dumpster. This thing was bigger than my cat was when we first got her. She was this big:

Yes, M'Lord?

Baaaaaaalls.

Hey, guys. How's it going? Yeah? Really? Oh wow, that's awesome.

STOP TALKING NOW AND LISTEN TO ME!

I've been playing Warcraft 3 lately. It's old, I know, but I like assembling armies and sending them into ur base to kill all ur doodz. I should have gotten Warcraft 2, instead I think. I don't care for this 'hero' nonsense, and limiting how much food I can have (and therefore the size of my army) is just silly. I really couldn't think of another older game that I would like to play though. Weird huh? I can't seem to think of any games that I really liked for PC, except for those that are all basically the same one, ie. Warcraft, Starcraft, and Command and Conquer. And I get bored with them quickly. Think of some games for me, then maybe I'll play them.

I thought I'd share a couple of pictures I inked recently, but my attempts to contact the artist have failed, so I will no be doing so. Sorry guys. Instead, click HERE!

Maybe that'll teach you to stay they hell of my lawn.

Late Nights With Stu #5

I wasn't really tired, so I got out of bed (sorry Porkchop!). That's what has become normal for me, and it sucks. I must try to go to bed at better hours. I'm tired now, but I also just puked my face off. Reattaching faces is not easy, let me tell you; It is hard to find an adhesive that works properly. So, yeah, now I'm reluctant to go to bed, in case I got's to puke again.

So how about that local sports team?

Christmas is coming up soon. Now, I don't know about you cats, but I dig X-mas. I like the lights, and the trees, and even the snow, so long as it goes away completely in a day or two (which almost never happens). I'm not a big fan of the songs though. Too much God-Talk in most of them, and they tend to get stuck in my head far too easily. Working in a retail store will also get your hate for Christmas tunes going, because then you get to listen to them all day, every day for two months.

There is, however, one Christmas song I really enjoy. One I listen to throughout the year. It is called "White Wine in the Sun," and it is by a comedian by the name of Tim Minchin. This song is not meant to be particularly funny, but it's amazing, and it will be a Christmas staple in my household FOREVER. Check it out!



Tim has also composed the songs for the Royal Shakespeare Company's "Matilda, A Musical," based on the the beloved Roald Dahl classic "Matilda," and hot damn, I wish I could go. Unfortunately, I don't live in England. Shit. Check out the shows webpage here. You know what, while you're at it, you might as well take a gander over Tim's Website. That's right! Time Minchin is giving away geese at his website! Limited Time Offer!

haha.... get it? Gander... male goose.... get it?

... Fuck off.



And, get off my lawn, by the way.

Episode IV: A New Hope...er... Name

Recently I have been thinking of changing the name of my blog, after a google search came up with several that were titled with "Are you there, Internet? It's me, [insert persons name here]" Talk about disappointment. Anyways, I've come up with a few ideas, and since I'm terrible at deciding for myself, I thought I would put them up in a poll and let youse guys decide.

Movies!

I've been lacking in the post area, pretty much since I started this thing way back in March. I just really haven't been into it lately. So let me fill you in on what movies I've seen recently.

Edward Norton. That guy is awesome. I watched him in "Leaves of Grass" a little while ago, in which he plays twin brothers. It was pretty awesome. It had it's funny moments, but I'm not sure if I should call it a comedy. No, I will. It was pretty funny. I'm not going to say anything more than that, partially because I don't remember much more than that, and partially because you just need to see it.



And after that, you should go check out "Death to Smoochy" if you haven't seen that already. Or even if you have. My favorite Edward Norton movie (along with Incredible Hulk; best Bruce Banner EVAR!), it's pretty hilarious.



You know what I don't recommend you see? "Greenberg," with Ben Stiller. I was led to believe this was a comedy. I'm pretty sure the DVD box and IMDB both told me it was(Okay, I just checked IMDB and they said it was a drama and a comedy, and the dvd box said that someone thought it was "Extremely Entertaining." Idiot.). They should have said it was a lesson in awkward; it was painful. I have have never watched anything more frustrating in my entire life. I should have just turned it off and watched Super Troopers, but... oh well. When you see it, don't say I didn't warn you.

As it is Guy Fawkes day today (if you don't know what it's all about, you can read about it here.), I'm gonna go watch V for Vendetta. Also, I like Natalie Portman's shaved head.



Until next time kiddies, stay the hell offa my lawn!

Megan Fox is a Whore (in this movie).

So last night I watched Jonah Hex. Never having read the comics and only being aware that Jonah Hex was a cowboy with an ugly face, I didn't have that annoying fan-boy moment that I usually have in comic book movies where I go "That's not how that goes! In issue blah blah blah...," which was kind of nice. That's basically how I would describe the movie, as well. Kind of nice to watch. Kinda. The story was pretty bad, It consisted of Jonah Hex (a bounty hunter who was a confederate soldier in the Civil War) trying to stop his old general (played by John Malkovitch), who had become a terrorist and a Weapon of Mass Destruction. I shit you not. This movie takes place six years after the civil war, or something like that, and they still worked in WMD's and terrorists. There was even a part where the president said that the Mexicans used to call Turnbull (Malkovitch) "la Terrorista." Fml.

The WMD was the stupidest thing ever, too. It was a cannon with a bunch of rotating barrels like a gatling gun, so it would fire off a bunch of regular looking cannon balls, then it would fire off what looked like Dragonball, which would explode and then make all the other cannonballs explode too, even though it was nowhere near them. And of course, it would make a mushroom cloud. My question is this, though. If John Malkovitch's character had all the Dragonballs, why didn't he just wish for ultimate power, instead of trying to shoot them from a cannon on Independence day, which gave Jonah Hex and his girlfriend (who was a whore, appropriately played by Megan Fox) to stop him? Seriously. One wish and he could have Kamehameha'd the shit out of everybody, and that I would have really enjoyed seeing.

Oh yeah, and Will Arnet was in it too, which was weird. They kind of set him up like he was going to be a semi-important character in the movie, and then we never see him again. What?

In conclusion, if you want to shut your brain off and watch a cowboy blow shit up with little crossbows that shoot dynamite, then this movie will satisfy. Just don't think about how the dynamite wouldn't have the smooth flight they have in the movie, because they have no fletching and aren't aerodynamic at all... and don't think about all the rest of the story too, I guess... It was pretty bad... If you see it on TV, or just don't have to pay money to see it, then you might want to do so. I mean, when have action movies really ever had a solid plot anyways?

Late Nights with Stu, part... something or other.. 4 maybe?

Today I watched a bunch of Sesame Street videos. If I ever become famous, I think I would Like to be on Sesame Street. I reccomend you all watch some right now. Go to Youtube, and watch Patrick Stewart tell the number one to "Make it So!" Here, I'll even Link it for you, so you don't have to search for it yourself. Here you go! While you're there make sure to check out the 'B or not a B' soliliquy. Funny stuff.

I've jsut now realized that I am too tired to finish this. Sorry, gang, I'll try to think of something funny to say for the next post, but until then, Welcome to Earf! *punches alien in its stupid alien face*

Oh wait! That was premature! Also look at this!



That's our snake Francis eating. Gross, huh? anyhoo...

Robots and Farms.

I wish I owned a copy of Harvest Moon. I always got pretty bored with it, but I would like to give it another shot, now that I'm older. For those who don't know what it is, allow me to explain. It's a video game. Explained! The point of this game is (as Lance said in his Vlog, and I think is the most apt description of the game I have ever heard) to run around and farm and try to make a girl fall in love with you. I don't really remember it that well, but I know people who would play for hours on end.

You should check out Lance's YouTube channel, by the way. He's a funny Canadian dude living in Japan, although he keeps wearing these douchey sunglasses. Japanananananan.

Another game I'd really like to play again is Megaman 64 (or Megaman Legends, if you play the Playstation version)This game was pretty big departure from previous (and later) Megaman game, as it is a 3D platformer, rather than a side scroller, and focuses mainly on treasure hunting and dungeon exploration, rather than defeating elemental themed bad guys and stealing their powers. In this game, you need to find bits of junk that your sister Roll will turn into items and upgrades for you. All in all a really fun little game, with humour, puzzles and action. I highly recommend it. You can even turn Megaman black by doing bad things! How cool is that? check it out, lamerz. In fact, you should probably just go and play every Megaman game, cuz they are all pretty rad.



Until next time, dear readers, get the hell off my lawn.

My Fair Turtle.

Ahem. Cough cough.

I am really not good at posting regularly. I expect it has something to do with every day being virtually the same: get up, peruse the interwebz for funny stuff and jobs, play video games, eat, sleep, and repeat. there is very little interpersonal contact, so some part of my brain is not being properly stimulated. No, I don't know which part! Do I look like some kind of brain doctor to you? Of course not.

I should really start leading into these things with my intended topic, because I keep forgetting what they are. I expect it was either something funny, or something geeky. Balls if I can remember, though.



I miss the Ninja Turtles. sure, I have the show on dvd, and numerous action figures, and comics and all that, but i really miss the excitement I felt as a kid when it came on, and I always knew when it was on, despite not being able to tell time. I remember sitting in front of my TV, eagerly awaiting the end of the credits for "Days of our Lives," which then I knew as "the hourglass show;" due to the hourglass that spins while the words crawl across the screen. i remember singing along to the theme song quite clearly too, although I'm sure that I had the lyrics wrong. Whatever. It was good enough for me. Nothing else ever got me as excited as the Turtles, and to this day, nothing ever really has. This may sound silly, but the Ninja Turtles mean more to me than most people. It goes: Girlfriend, select family and friends, Ninja Turtles, everyone else.



Now, I have many action figures, (which I think are super cool, and if you disagree, then, well, I don't really care to know you) but the ones I'm really proud of are my Turtles. I will take those with me to the grave. Move over Spidey, 'cause the Turtles need more shelf space, biatch! See? I'll even call Spider-Man a "biatch," thats how cool I think the Turtles are.

So, last year I bought a plush Donatello from the Value Village where I worked and the cashier asked me why I was buying it, I responded with something along the lines of "I collect toys, especially Ninja Turtles," (although I may not have said the Turtles Part out loud)to which she replied "That's embarrassing." Suffice to to say I was highly offended, not just because it means that she thought my hobby, and thus a large part of who I am was an embarrassment, but because it felt like an attack on some of my warmest childhood memories. Let it be noted however, that I harbor no ill -will towards the maker of that comment. She could not have possibly known why I like Ninja Turtles so much, or what they mean to me.



Anyways, this was rather personal post, wasn't it? Neat-o. I'm gonna watch me some TMNT. The Polls seem to be working again, so vote for your favorite Ninja Turtle! Hooray! Now get offa my lawn!

This Quest is too hard...

I've always wanted to be famous. And rich. Ever since I was a little kid. The means by which I've wanted to accomplish this have changed from time to time (Rock star, actor, writer, filmmaker, etc.), but the desire has been there for a very, very long time.

Turns out, it's pretty damn hard to do, especially when you are as lazy as I am.

Speaking of being lazy (if you thought this post was going to be a rant on how hard it is to get famous, then HA HA! I fooled you.) I did nothing this week. I know, what a surprise, right? Well, laugh it up, Fuzzballs, 'cuz that's all going to change starting right Meow. That's right, you heard it here first, suckas. Starting tomorrow, September 26 2010, at whatever time I roll out of bed (probably between 11:00 and Noon), I, Stuart Reginald Phoenix (my middle name is not "Reginald"), am going to start doing... Stuff!

Shock! Amaze! Cardiac Arrest!

I'll start slow. You know, baby steps and all that. I intend to leave my apartment at least once a day! No, no. There's no need to applaud, I just think think the world could use a little more exposure to me. I've been depriving the good people of Vancouver my presence, and for that I apologize, but it's one of those really insincere apologies where you can totally tell I'm just doing it to be polite.

Oh, hey! I just thought of a joke! I'm so lazy, if i were a Pokemon, I'd be a Snorlax! HAH!

Shut up...

Speaking of Pokemon, check out this hilarious (at least, I thought so) fan trailer for a [fake] live-action Pokemon Movie!

More Zelda, Pls.

So after my previous post, I decided to re-play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It is many times easier than I remembered it being, and, in a way, I am a little disappointed. I'm still having a blast though, mainly because I am endlessly amused by the fact that I still remember many of the songs. As much fun as I am having, however, the two main problems with the game have have reared their ugly heads and have already begun to annoy the hell out of me.

The first is, of course, Navi, Link's little fairy companion who says "hey!" and "Hey! Listen!" throughout the entire fucking game, only to give you completely useless information when you actually do bother to talk to her. Not really a problem, I guess, just annoying as all hell.

The second Problem is the lack of control over the camera. I just want to be able to rotate the camera so can see what the hell I'm doing. that's all. Nothing major, but there are just times when it would mean the difference between life and death.

Still an awesome game though; until recently it was the only Zelda game I had ever beaten. I have since beaten Twilight Princess, which was a lot of fun. I might even like it more than I like Ocarina.

You know what creeps me out though? the Great Fairies in Ocarina. They are absolutely terrifying. I've had nightmares, seriously. Their creepy laughter when you summon them, the sparkles that fly out of the vaginas when they give you powers... Stuff of horror, I tells ya.



See? See? Nightmares! Guaaaaaah!

Interesting Title

Remember those cookies I was talking about? They were awesome. You should be jealous, that's how good they were.

Moving on...

Here's something that has been bugging the hell out of me lately. Have you noticed that lately fewer and fewer movies seem to be coming out that are actually fairly original ideas? They all seem to be remakes of tv shows from the 80's, or based on a book, or a comic, or a remake of an original movie, or SOMETHING. Now, I'm sure that now that I've said this you are all thinking of a bajillion movies to throw at me that are nice original storyline with unique characters, however, the ones that are advertised relentlessly, the ones I see the most? Such is not the case, friends, and I don't know why, but I find it very unsettling, as though all the originality in movies is dying out. I mean, I know movies have been made based on books and what-not since, well, since they started making movies... I dunno. Just something I've noticed.

Speaking of movies being based on stuff, check out this trailer the folks at IGN.com put together for a fake Legend of Zelda movie. It looks amazing. Someone needs to convince Nintendo that this movie would make huge amounts of dollarz. Check it out here.

Well, that's all I got for now. However, I would like to know who you think would make a good Link, or Zelda, or Gannondorf if they were to do a movie. And if you don't know who those characters are, then you probably have no reason to be reading this, and might not have any reason for being my friend.


Until next time, Get offa my lawn, you damn kids!

Oops!

Soooo... I kinda forgot about my blog. That's my bad, Faithful Reader(s). However, I'm back, and still unemployed! Hooray! so what happened this month? Funny you should ask that, because I planned on telling you anyway. So... what happened...

Not a lot, really. Surprise!

I made cookies tonight, which turned out awesome. Peanut butter oatmeal, bitches! I have no cookie sheet (we accidentally melted plastic onto our last one) so I had to build one out of tin foil. I rolled the sides up to make it a little stiffer and everything. Fear my improvisational kitchen wizardry! Muahaha! Soon all shall cower before my Tin Foil cookie sheet... OF DOOM!

So, there hasn't really been anything going on lately. I've recently become addicted to a game called Robot Unicorn Attack . I think the name itself will tell you how awesome it is. So far my high score is 71,200, and I haven't come close to beating it. You guys should play it, because it is probably the most awesome thing since awesome was invented. Yeah.

Other than that, nothing really new going on in my life. Amanda goes to Vegas tomorrow, which will suck because then I'll be all by my self until Sunday. Yeah, I'm that selfish. On the plus side, I'll get her bus pass while she's gone, so I'll be able to do stuff, or junk, or whatever.

I've also inked a couple of pictures, which I haven't done for months. We ran out of ink for our printer, so I couldn't print any new stuff out. It was all very unfortunate. Check it out!

It's Spawn! he's so zany, with his living costume and being a dead guy and all that. Pencils by Ric.


Megaman! Megaman is probably one of my favorite video game characters. Who wouldn't love a guy who's fist turns into a big ass gun and can steal defeated enemies powers? I don't know who drew this, it was on some forum where people don't have real names.

Until next time, get outta my corn field!

In my little apartment.

In my little apartment I sit,
Tracing over lines that someone else drew.
I have little talent of my own;
I can draw a pretty mean stick-ninja,
and on occasion I can say something clever.
I know plenty of facts about things that, while interesting,
are of little use to anyone.

I can pose an action figure;
I can mix Iced Tea.
I can even organize my comic books alphabetically
by publisher, author and title.
I have an uncanny ability to tell a bad joke
at the most inappropriate times; many of which
are in delightfully poor taste.

In my little apartment I sit,
with my head planted firmly on the desk,
hands tightly grasping my hair
(which is quite thick and lustrous, by the way)
while my brain stews in it's thick and savory sauce.
It could use a dash of salt, and maybe some chili powder.

Bananaman Moves Forward.

Sorry for the infrequency of posts, Scooby Gang. I've been busy/lazy/hungry/coupla' other things.

Let's get the cool stuff out of the way first. we have had two days of shooting for Bananaman, and it looks totally adequate! Hooray! That is a lot better than terrible! Actually, it looks pretty good. We're about halfway through the script, and the rest should be a cakewalk. I hope. We decided to make it black and white, because it makes the lighting look better film look artsier. I'm pretty excited to see what how the rest of the shoot goes. One thing I learned: that banana suit is warm. Like, crazy warm. You could use that thing for a sleeping bag when you camping in March kind of warm. The things I do for my art. Speaking of things I do, the shoot yesterday made my mouth taste like styrofoam. I won't tell you why though, you'll just have to see the flick; coming to a Film Festival near you! And if it isn't, well then, send me money and I'll send you a DVD, maybe.


Man, I totally had more stuff to talk about tonight, but I can't remember what they were. I got so caught up in talking about Bananaman and learning how to do this that I totally forgot. Ah well.

Until next time, Welcome to Earf!

Damnit, Google.

Sorry gang, it looks like Google broke their Polling code when they did a new release a month or so ago, so for now, I'm going to take the poll down. hopefully this gets resolved soon.

The All New, All Different X-Men...er... Stu's Blog!!

Well hello again, Internet! Nice to see you again! Have a seat! Are you hungry? Have you eaten? I could rustle up a quiche...

I've added some gizmos to my blog, because... I could really. No other reason.

The first gizmo is the least interesting. I've added a search bar, so you can search for stuff I've talked about in the past without having to go through all the posts! Convenient, yeah?

The second is only slightly more interesting. At the bottom of each post, I've added a thingie-majigger so you can share my posts with your friends on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. Cool huh? This means you should start sharing my stuff, because the more people read this blog, the cooler I will feel. And also, a fairy gets it's fairy dust whenever someone reads it, so lets get those fairies dusted, alright?

that sounds like I put a hit out on fairies or something, but I assure you, that is not what I meant.

The third (and coolest) gizmo I have added is by far my favorite. I added a Poll! I'm going to try to think of a new question every week, and I welcome your ideas.

That's all for now kids. Now go away, I'm readin' "Super Fudge!"

Late Nights With Stu. (Third in an ongoing series)

It is almost two o'clock in the A.M. and i have just finished watching the Star Trek movie that came out last year. I really dig it. But enough about me. Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself? Uh-huh... Really?

I'm not interested.

So lately I've been trying to figure out which area of my body is the most uncomfortable when it sweats, and I'm thinking that it just might be the back of my knees. I dunno, I'm probably just saying that because they are currently sweaty and I'm not enjoying it. I'm sure there are places on my body that are even more uncomfortable when I sweat, but right now all I can think about is how gross this feels right now.

Now aren't you glad I wasn't interested in what you had to say, so I could share that tasty tidbit with you? Don't answer, your silence is thanks enough. And also, orange you glad I didn't say banana? Ha HA! Its funny! this is the part where you laugh at my ridiculous Internet antics! Good times...

Speaking of bananas... They are delicious. Eat some and grow strong from their potassium-y goodness. Like Bananaman would. Check him out.


Yes, kiddies, it is true. I was not the first person to realize that "Bananaman" sounds funny, nor will I be the last. It was actually a cartoon in the eighties, based on a British cartoon strip, and it's five minute episodes were shown alongside the likes Dangermouse. It is chock full of what we expect from kids cartoons in the eighties: silliness, bad animation, and awful jokes. Now, I realize that "awful jokes" kind of falls under the umbrella of "silliness," but eighties cartoons generally had enough bad jokes to warrant it's own category. Deal with it.

You can find episodes of Bananaman on youtube, and they are totally worth it. I know I laughed. Also, a little fun fact for youse guys: If you google "Bananaman Teaser" the first video to pop up has me in it. Bananaman (my version). This is it. Tell your friends.

Late Nights With Stu (again)

So, I'm sitting in my underwear, wondering if I should try going back to bed, or whether I should pop in a movie and grab some Fruit Loops ( or rather the in-store brand we bought, which they call "Silly Circles.") and try to figure out exactly why they keep putting Keanu Reeves in movies that have nothing to do with Bill & Ted. He's just so expressionless. Emote, damnit! Now this is not to say I don't like his movies. I just find them mildly painful. And by mildly, I mean sometimes his acting makes me want to bash my head repeatedly against the wall to see if it will somehow improve upon his performance.**



Buuuuuut, he knows Kung-Fu, so that's all that really matters.

In other news, no development on the RPG gaming front, which sucks, but I think I'll be okay. I'll just drown myself in Slurpees and video games until I'm as smart as this guy:


Until next time, kids,
Get offa my Lawn!

**It does not

Long over-due Bananaman Updates

So, it's been a little while since I told you guys anything about what's going on with Bananaman. Basically, I've been super lazy, and done anything. BUT! BUT! Fear not, Bananafans! I'm ready to shoot it, pretty much. I just have to clean up my entire apartment! Oh, yeah, and set a shoot date and get the Banana suit ready for the action scenes, but i plan on getting that all worked out this week. I'm going to try to get this thing ready for the middle of August at the very latest. I promise. And if I break that promise, then screw you, I'm lazy.

Seriously, though. I'll try. Just for you guys.




Now, get off of my lawn!

Reunited. (And it Feels So Good)

Say what you want about that song, but it is very important, since it sells us things on TV all the time. If you don't know what song I'm talking about, then I suggest you read the title of this post, as it directly relates to the subject matter of this particular post. If you don't feel like reading the title of this post, then... um...

Look over there! A Unicorn!


Oh sorry, it was just a regular horse.

So today I hung out with Kate, who has been my friend, well, since I was born. I'm not exaggerating, either. Really. What made this time so blog-worthy? Well, the last time we saw each other was nearly ten years ago. Yeah, nearly half our lives, when you think about it. The cool part was is we managed to talk for nearly three hours. I can talk a lot, apparently. My voice is actually hoarse. HaHa. Hoarse. It sounds like Horse, which was in my joke. It all ties in! Hilarious.

Anyway, it was cool. And you know what else is cool, kids? Reading my Blog. So if you read it, you're one of us cool kids.

One of us! One of us! One of us!

Withdrawal

Oh man, it has been a long time since I posted. I'm not very good at this, apparently.

So I'm currently going through withdrawals. Not from drugs, like most people who write about their symptoms, but from Gaming. I like to play pen and paper role-playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons and such. Since moving here, the amount of gaming I do has been drastically reduced from playing once or twice a week to... well, pretty much never. What kind of symptoms could I be having? Well, I'm constantly bored, I spend my day reading the rule books and making characters. I've been doing this almost every day for nearly a month now. If only my computer didn't suck so much, I would try playing with my friends via webcam.

I've been thinking that to get over this overwhelming desire to play, I should try posting an add on craigslist, or something. the more i think about it though, the creepier (and more pathetic) that sounds. Maybe I'll try going to a hobby store nearby, and seeing if I can join a group. I've got to do something, because this is getting ridiculous.


In other news, I've decided that I need to make a full-length feature. The big problem with features, though, is that they tend to require money, and usually more than a three person crew. Also, I don't have the attention span needed to bang out 90 pages. I can barely do four. But hot damn, I would like to do it. We'll see. Maybe I can come up with an idea, and then carry that idea tenderly to the page. Then very gently stroke that Idea's hair while it sleeps, and whisper encouraging (and moderately sexual) things in it's ear. Maybe.

So, you'd think that with the amount of time I spend at home, just sitting around the house scratching myself... er... playing video games and watching movies... that I would post more often. Such is not the case, it seems. Perhaps this means... I dunno... Stuff.

So, last year (October, maybe?) I decided I was going to start inking comics. Problem was, I had no comics to ink, so to teach myself I picked up a pot of ink, a pen and some nibs (not the delicious candy), and printed out some pencil drawings I found on the Internet. I still have no Comics to ink, but I like to think I'm getting pretty good at it. I wanted to share a picture or two with you, Internet. Check it out.


This one is the DC villain Solomon Grundy, Pencils by Jose Luis



This is a character from the show "Stormhawks", which is a pretty good show, actually. Pencils by Randy Green


This is Optimus Prime (obviously) and it is one of my favorites. Pencils by... someone from Deviant Art, I can't seem to find the picture again. it should still be on my computer, along with who drew it, I don;t see it anywhere, and cant find it on the website anymore. So if any of you know who drew this, let me know!

I wanted to be a Poet

I want to write a poem
So I'll take out my pen;
Take out my paper
And sit at my table.

Tap, Tap, Tap,
Goes my pen, as I ponder my Poem.

Should I describe the Sunset
In all it's radiant beauty?
The way it paints the clouds
With great yet subtle
Pinks and Purples?
The glorious Sunset,
In all it's remarkable... remarkableness...

No, it's been done to death,
And anyway, imagery's not really my bag.

I'll write about my Love
And how she makes my feel.
She makes me feel like a sunny day
Bright, and happy, and clear.
Like the birds sing a ditty,
Just for her and I, and
It's so lovely, in it's lovely... loveliness...

No, that one's been done
More than the other one,
And anyway, I'm no Romantic.

I'll write about Society.
Yeah, society, and how it's gone to shit.
But I don't really read the paper,
And I'm not sure whats going on
That makes it quite so bad,
Only that kids are growing up
Without any Dads.
Society, in all it's loathsome... loathability.

Tap... tap... tap...

I wanted to write a Poem,
Only I wasn't sure where to begin.
I took out my pen;
Took out my paper,
And the words never came.

I wanted to be Poet
But found I didn't know how.

Debates and Milk-Based Misfortunes

I got nothin' to say. It has dawned on me in the last few days, that I often have nothing to say, but I say something anyway. Weird, huh? And I'm not just talking about on this blog, I'm talking about real life.

I find myself spouting off opinions that don't really even belong to me, just so I can hear my own voice, or hopefully get into an argument with somebody. Maybe I should have been a lawyer, or someone else who argues and debates for living. Dare I say it? Dare I? I dare!

I should have been a Master... wait for it... Debater.

"Oh, I saw that coming." you say. "What a yutz!" you proclaim. Well, fuck you.

Anyhoo...

Recently Amanda and I have begun our foray into Veganism, which I have already failed at; I had a craving for potato chips and grabbed a bag of Sour Cream and Onion. My failure continued when I also grabbed a pack of gum... with Recaldent (a milk derivative, for those of you who don't know). I, of course, did not realize my mistake until I got home with said chips and gum. Hot damn, this is hard.

Despite my initial milk-based misfortunes, I think this is going to be okay. We have vegan cookbooks and the internet, what more do we need? Aside from the willpower necessary to avoid cheese. That one will be tough, since it is pretty much the most delicious substance in the known universe.

Wish us luck!

Here is something to think about until my next Post:


Catch phrase attempt #3:
Welcome to Earf.

Snake Poo Musings

Did you know snake poo stinks?

I mean REALLY stinks. Not the overwhelming stink of, say, a cat's litter box, but a wetter, musty, fill the room quickly kind of stink.

I never really noticed before, because Francis' tank was in the living room by a window, but now that is in our bedroom with a a closed door all the time you can really smell that smell. OoooO that smell. Can't you smell that smell?

In other news, watching Francis eat is really gross. His head is so very tiny, but he still manages to split his face open and cram a rat in there. It's craziness to the second degree (clearly not the the third, though)!

catch phrase attempt #2:
Get offa my lawn!

maybe?

Being paid for being Awesome

Instead of cleaning my house, I have decided to throw some more words at the Internet with a faint glimmer of hope that someone will stumble upon this blog and think I'm totally awesome. Then, perhaps that person will then decide that it would be a fantastic idea to tell me I'm awesome. And THEN maybe they will decide I'm so awesome, that they should pay me for being awesome! Awesome!

I'm not talking about you, faithful reader(s?). I'm talking about some random Internet browsing Rich Person with money to burn.

Since that is unlikely, I suppose I'd better go clean. I'll leave you to think about this:




PS. I feel like I need a catch phrase to sign off with. Here is my first attempt:

Seatbelts everyone!

no... that won't work...

Fiesta!!

TRUMPET FANFARE!! MIDGET JESTERS! CONFETTI! OTHER EXCITING THINGS!

These are all things that should be in my living room right now.

Did I just hear you ask "Why is that, Stu?" Clearly, I did. No, no. There is no use denying it. I heard what I heard, and you can't take it back now. Well let me tell you why these exiting things should be in my living room:

After my last post, I continued to sit in front of my computer. However, instead of looking at random crap on the Interwebz, I pulled up a script I had been working on. A script by the name of "Sneaky Bank." Now, what makes this script so special is that I have been working on it for four years. I had one page.

Well, not anymore, folks! I sat here and finished the damn thing! Granted, I only added three pages, but still. Finished! Hooray! And there was rejoicing throughout the land! Now I just have to do that with all the scripts I have on the go, and we'll be in business.

Take that, perpetual laziness! Put that in your sandwich and eat it, you bastard!

Late Nights with Stu

I need to be more ambitious. Here I am five years out of high school, four years out of film school, and still have yet to do one thing I'm really proud of- film related or otherwise. Now I know what your saying. You're saying "STFU, you whiny schmuck! this is the internet, nobody cares!"

You're right, I'm sure, but this post is meant to be more of a forum for me to sort out my brain-hole, rather than me sharing brilliant and witty insights with you.

The point is, I know I'll never be content working a regular job, but I just can't seem to motivate myself to do anything else. I mean, what's that about? Am I afraid of failing? Am I still unsure of what I really want to do? Or am I just really lazy? Sometimes I get really good ideas for something, but then I never do anything with said ideas, forgetting them soon after. Or worse yet, I'll start it, then get stuck somewhere near the beginning and lose interest; leaving it for ages, never really sure where to go with it; how to continue etc.

I'm not meant to be poor, living on minimum wage, scrounging for cash. I'm meant to be able to go out and buy a nice tailored suit; to buy pretty dresses and jewelry for my future wife; to buy toys and comics galore, and have room to keep them all.

I feel I'm meant for more. I just need Focus. I need Drive. I need a Muse.

I need... something...

Like "High School Musical," Only Good!!

I've recently begun watching Glee. Everyone told me I should, and that I would like it; and whilst I was sure that I would, I had no idea just how great it actually is.

Let me be perfectly clear about this:
Never have I been so completely in love with a show. It has even surpassed Buffy in my mind as the most amusing and entertaining shows to ever be produced, right beside How I Met Your Mother, which i also have a slightly unnatural love for.

I love Musicals. I love them so much, it's a wonder I'm not gay. And the kids in this show, man, can they sing. There is such a perfect mix of vocal personalities that it blows my mind consistently with each episode I watch, to say nothing of the characters in the show. I just can't help but love all the Glee kids, even the ones that annoy and bother the hell out me. And yes; sometimes the plot, dialogue, and the heavy-handed message of "Be Yourself!" seem stupefyingly after-school special, but that's part of it's charm, and really what all musicals are about anyways. I certainly can't remember a musical whose message required more than the IQ of a monkey wrench to pick up on.

I'm not going to get into the characters, or the plot with you here. I would rather let you discover them for yourself when you decide to take the plunge into the warm tropical waters that are Glee.

I will say this though. The one thing that would make it better: A Joss Whedon written and directed episode, in which nobody we care about dies (we all know how much he likes to do that). Oh, and Neil Patrick Harris should be on all the time. The world needs more NPH.

So you say it's your Birthday...

My birthday.

It's not for three weeks yet, but I found myself thinking about it today.

For the last few years I have tried to keep it low key, as I don't generally care for parties, or the recognition that I'm slowly getting older, and still doing nothing with my life. Inevitably though, someone tries to convince me of its importance and tells me I should be excited! After all, you can only turn [insert age here]once!

You can only catch herpes once too, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who's been excited to do so.

Anyway, someone always thinks I should have a party, or some other gathering of acquaintances; and while its true that I generally enjoy the company of said acquaintances, I really don't care to have the elevated position of guest of honor. In fact, one of my favorite birthdays was when my friends and I just played our weekly game of D&D, as per usual.

This year, however, I am faced with a new problem. I would like to spend my birthday playing D&D again (or something similar), but I cannot, as I no longer live in the same city as my other gaming friends, and don't really have many other friends here in Vancouver. I appear to be boned.

So, if anyone has a suggestion as to what I should do this coming June 6th (or D-Day, for you history buffs) tell me! right now I'm thinking Ninja Turtles Marathon.

It's Morphin' Time!

Whilst perusing my favorite online toy distributor today, I discovered that they have re-launched the original "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" T.V. show, and released a new toy line to go along with it. Ummm.... ZOMG AWESOME!!!

I haven't seen it yet, but I imagine it is just as sweet/awful as the original, only perhaps with slightly better video quality (it is remastered, after all). The regular ranger action figures do look pretty cool, though and if I had money I would totally buy them, although the Megazord does appear to be lacking a little bit. Granted, it is pretty hard to see clearly from a little crappy picture, but it doesn't seem to look nearly as awesome as the original, with all it's badass little chromed bits, although the overall sculpt looks a bit better.


The next thing they need to bring back is Gargoyles. That show was probably the greatest Disney cartoon ever, and it is definitely one of the greatest cartoons of all time.

Dishes are for chumps.

I need to do the dishes.

I don't wanna do the dishes, but I gotta. Then I have to clean the rest of the kitchen, too. I already did the living room (and it looks awesome, thank you), but I dread that kitchen. Not that it's really bad or anything; yes, it's a mess, but most of that is dishes and easily cleaned up. But you don't care, do you? I know I wouldn't if our positions were reversed.

I should really start putting something of interest on here.

Oh well.

When you milk awesome, you get Awesome Milk. (Bananaman Teaser)

Okay, so I haven't posted for nearly a month. Get something better to do with your time than check up on my blog.

I'm kidding! Stay here! I'll get better, I promise! Just don't leave me alone!

For those of you interested in all things Bananaman, Jon and I did some test shooting yesterday, just to see how the costume worked, and were slightly disappointed in the actual banana suit. I was, at least, I don't know about Jon. But, with the help of my girlfriend Amanda (she doesn't know it yet, but she's helping), we will have the costume in a working state by the time we do some real shooting. Huzzah!!

The footage we got was pretty rough, and we didn't get a lot, since it was mega windy, but Jon still edited it together to make a fairly decent little teaser in spite of our fairly bad footage. Enjoy it!

Bananaman Teaser from Butter Puddle Productions on Vimeo.

Did you enjoy it? If you didn't, then watch it again until you do.

Updates on my fairly boring and mundane goings-on

Okay, so it turns out I am TERRIBLE at posting on this regularly. I've been feeling like I've got nothing to say, for one thing, and I've been busy (sort of) as well; hence my lack of posts.

Let's begin with news

Amanda's brother Chris stayed with us this weekend while he was in town for fashion week, and that was pretty cool. He was overly generous and bought us lunch a couple times, and that was awesome, as we are constantly super broke. Chris and I mucked about around town on Saturday, which was fun, but far more walking than I am used to. Whilst we mucked about, we stumbled upon some cow statues; Chris then insisted I ride one. The photos are pretty sweet, I'll see if it's alright with him if I share them on here.

I'm running into a wall with Bananaman. I have to do the shot list, and I just can't get motivated. I kind of sat and stared at for a while, making a few notes here and there, but no substantial progress has been made. I don't know what it is, but I always do this with projects. I make a little progress, only to be thwarted by my own insecurities and laziness, which explains why "Sneaky Bank" has been four years in the making.

Okay, I'm gonna go now; I have errands to run, and then when I come home I'm gonna shotlist the crap outta Bananaman.

Unless I get distracted by God of War.

He doesn't go out for Brunch

The Adam Green show was last night. Right now most people who read this will be asking "Who the hell is Adam Green?" to which I would say "Only the coolest fellow ever to... um... be... awesome?"

I'm not very good at describing music, unless it's similar to something that I know someone has heard. Adam Green sounds like nothing else. Well, nothing that I can think of. Feel free to correct me on that. Anyways, I'm off point. What I'm trying to say is that the show was pretty amazing; totally worth waiting outside for half an hour with wet feet.

The opening band was, as I so eloquently stated last Thursday, "perfectly adequate." They were called "The Dead Trees," and I had never heard of them before. You probably haven't either. They weren't bad at all, but nor did I find them very memorable, except the bass player, who had the most bad-ass and neatly groomed mustache I have ever seen. So neatly groomed, in fact, that I'm not entirely sure is was real. If it was real, that's fucking amazing! If not, then then that's also fucking amazing! It made him kind of look like he belonged in Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (or the Muppet Band, as most people know them.) It really says something about a band when the only thing you can remember about their performance was one dudes mustache, and thinking that they were totally an opening band: Not bad, but not particularly entertaining.




Now, Adam Green was Dynamite. Or "Dy-no miiiite!" if you will. Or even if you won't. I don't care. His energy was so high that I'm sure he was too. High, that is. Amanda described the way he danced around on stage best when she said that he was like "A dancing monkey on speed," which is by no means a bad thing. It was great! He was running into the band (The Dead Trees played as his backing band, and they were definitely better at that,)drawing some glares from the guitarist.

Adam played from around 8pm to 10:30ish. Maybe not even that long. Jon complained that it was kind of short, but A) I doubt Adam could have kept up that level of energy much longer; and B) as Dan pointed out, his songs are relatively short, so you get a lot of songs in a very short period of time; we heard all the best ones and one or two that I never listened to as much, though I think I will now.

All in all, probably the best show I've seen yet. A massive thumbs up! But only for Adam Green, not for Dead Trees. They only get some kind of wishy-washy hand gesture to represent my feeling towards them. Oh, and a thumbs up for the Mustache.

If you are interested, you can check out Adam Green at his website http://www.adamgreen.net/

Nothing, really.

Uh, I don't really have anything to say today, but I guess I should put something down right? I mean, the whole reason I started this thing is so that I am forced to write down stuff. It doesn't really matter, I suppose because I think the only person who reads this regularly is my girlfriend. I love you, Porkchop!

In other news, the Adam Green show is this Thursday, and I'm Mega-Excited! so Mega-Excited, that I decided to capitalize and hyphenate it! Hooray! And after that, i'm going to Williams Lake to my sisters for Easter! So that's all kinds of awesome rolled into one easy to carry package. I really want to go to Science World and buy gifts for my niece and nephews, but I'm really not sure if I can afford that. Curse you, low income!

Alright, well, I'm gonna go for now. If I think of something more entertaining to write, I'll come back.

Bananaman Updates

Yesterday was a fairly productive day. Jon came over to work on Bananaman, and we barely got distracted, which was totally rad. I also tried Vera's Burger Shack; so worth the 14 dollars I spent!

But, yeah, Bananaman is really coming along. We Finished the script (huzzah!) and started breaking it down and figuring out how to shoot it. We even made a little map of my living room on Paint. It's colour coded and everything! Check it out!

Now you can all layout your living room like me! First you have to figure out what all the different boxes are though. It'll be fun! Like a Puzzle!

I've decided that I for sure am going to direct Bananaman. Remember how I was unsure before? Huh? Do ya? Well, colour me certain... because I am... certain. Damn. I could have worded that better. I also might wind up playing the role of Ben/Bananaman. Hopefully I can avoid that, but we'll see.

Well, I feel like I have nothing else to say right now, so I'll see you guys later. Or I won't. It's not like I'm some kind of psychic; able to predict future events and what-not. What do you want from me?

Might I Get Loud?

I have to shower again today.

I showered once already, but then my armpits started leaking, and I smell again. What a bummer.

In other news, I went over to Jon and Leslie's yesterday to work on the makeup for Leslie's film "By the Lantern." It went pretty well, actually. I am feeling much more confident in my ability to make her look like a ninety year old hermit with gross skin lesions. If you guys are ever putting liquid latex on an actor though, make them shave all the teeny little hairs away from the area. Seriously. They will thank you later. We learned our lesson, let me tell you! you shoulda heard it, ripping away! Hilarious!

I also watched an awesome documentary last night, called "It Might Get Loud." Basically, it was Jimmy Page, Jack White, and The Edge talking about their approaches to playing the guitar. I can't even describe it, it was so good- words just don't seem able to accurately convey how much I dug it. Even me saying that seems to fall short. Enough of me gushing though, you get the idea.

Well, that's all for today, folks.

I gotta go shower.

Hey!
I have a question.
What would you do if I
Stole all of your jewelry?
Broke all off your china?
Cut up all of your photo albums?

And what would you do if I
Smooshed all of your grapes?
Burnt all of your toast?
Deflated all of your soufflés?

I bet you’d be pissed.


This is something I wrote quite a while ago when I couldn't sleep. I quite like it. Cower before the awesome might of my poetry! COWER!!

Bananaman

As you know (do you like how I write this as if somebody is actually reading it?) Jon came over to work on the Bananaman Script yesterday. It was definitely a good session. We got the entire story fleshed out, all that needs to be added now is some extra dialogue and some voice over stuff. Then storyboards! Huzzah! It looks like it should be between 10-20 minutes, which is perfect festival length. Jon wants me to direct it; I've gotta be honest, that makes me pretty nervous, as the only thing I directed in school didn't turn out well. Well, it turned out alright, but I got bored with the project and abandoned it in editing. We'll see. Bananaman is pretty awesome, and is much more my style.

I also dug out some scripts I wrote in film school that I had forgotten about, or just written off. Turns out, I actually really dig 'em, so I think I'll fix 'em up a bit and shoot them, see how that turns out. I'll keep you posted on that, assuming my enthusiasm doesn't wane.

Wednesday Morning, 3am.

Okay, so it isn't Wednesday, nor is it 3 am yet, but anyone who knows me knows that I like to put in references to something where ever I can. It makes me feel worldly and intelligent- it also makes me feel cool, though I realize that it probably just annoys and alienates a lot of people. Whatever, I doubt I would like them anyway.

I've forgotten what my intention was for this post...

So, Jon is coming over to work on our Banana Man script. I'm really looking forward to it, not only because the idea of a film in which the main character wears a banana costume the entire time excites me (not like that, you fucks), but also because I am excited to be writing with a partner. I always feel as though my best ideas come when I have a collaborator. Hopefully we won't get too distracted, as I do have video games-a-plenty, and the attention span of a gerbil with ADD. Here's hoping.





UPDATE!03/19/2010 1:55AM

Oh man! I remembered what I was going to post about! I was going to talk about how I can't seem to stop eating if there is food in front of me...

Hrm. The moment seems to be gone.

I'm New

Alright. This is my first Blog. I think. I may have had one once in high school; if I did, then I forgot about it soon after creating it. The Purpose of this here blog is to (hopefully) force me into writing more, because I am terrible at starting things then not finishing them, so i thought to myself "Hey! If I put out thoughts and ideas on the Interwebs, then people will read them and tell me I'm awesome, which will in turn inspire me to work on projects, like the several scripts and what not scattered about on my hardrive. Right? Right?" Flawed logic, I know. But I'm gonna give it a shot anyway. So, here it is in all its (brilliantly titled) glory! Fear my blogging Prowess!!