Dear Interwebz: A poem.

Dear Interwebz:

I think I spend too much time on you.

You be suckin' up all mah time, Interwebz.
Suckin' it up like a digital Dyson,
Never losin' yer suction.
What'chu doin' with it all?

Why you be gettin' up in mah Brainz,
Stealin' all my Motivationz?
And Killin' all my Doodz?
What did my Doodz do to you, Interwebz? Huh?

You with yer Piano Catz...
And yer LOL Catz...
And yer Suprized Catz...
Why you got so many catz, Interwebz?

Yerz 4EVAR
-Stu.

Friday is Doctor Who day, I guess.

Oh man. It's Friday, and you know what that means, don't you? It means we need to decide whether or not to take the front seat or the back seat. Which one should I take? It's tough, 'cuz if I'm in the front seat, I get to be... well, in the front seat. But if I take the back seat, I get to be in the back! ARG! Why is life so hard?

Also, why does that song suck sooooooooooooo much? Seriously, it has something like 2 million dislikes on YouTube. I feel if anything I ever put up had that many people publicly display their dislike, I would just quit. At everything. And so should Rebecca Black, before she gets any more death threats. Yeah, that's right kids. she has received threats to her life if she does not remove her music from the Interwebz.
On the one hand, I agree with that: her "music" is "awful" and "shouldn't be heard by human ears," but on the other hand, isn't the Internet supposed to be a place of free speech and creativity, where we can express ourselves in nearly anyway we can imagine? And look at porn? Lots and lots of porn?

In other news... um...

Look at this!



Pretty awesome, right? Now, i've never actually watched any Dr. Who, but I know the basic idea, and the Daleks and Davros and The Master and Cybermen and all that. The problem is I'm such a completest that I would want to watch from the very beginning, which is indeed a daunting task, as it first started way back in 1963 and originally ran until 1989. So there's 26 years there to catch up on, plus the 1996 TV movie, and then we get into the re-launch in 2005 thats still running... so another 5-ish years. Not to mention that 108 episodes are bassically gone, and not held in the BBC's archives. Mayhaps I'll juSt have to suck it up and start from the easily available stuff.

A Movie review that tells you very little about the movie, as i don't want to spoil it for you.

I fell off of the "A-Z post-a-day" bandwagon. But it's not my fault, alright? There were no seat belts and we hit a bump.

Anyhoo, I'm 8 days behind, so I'm not even going to bother trying to catch up. Instead I'm just going to do a regular non-alphabet related post.

Most important things first. Best name for a cab company ever: Schindler's Lifts. I know, I'm awesome. I thought of that while waiting for the SkyTrain this fair morn.

So I just watched this fantastic movie, and so I thought I would share it with you. It's called Burke and Hare, and it stars none other than Simon Pegg (he of Shaun of the Dead fame) and Andy Serkis (he of Gollum fame), Tom Wilkinson (he of... well, lots of stuff really... fame.. er..) and TIM CURRY! WHAAAAAAAAT! So awesome. Also, Christopher Lee makes an appearance as an old dude who snuffs it, and when he showed up I was like "Is that Christopher Lee? Nah, couldn't be." Turns out it was. Ten points, Burke and Hare. Ten points.



Oh yeah, it also has Isla Fisher, but she really adds very little to the movie. She's there, whatever, lets move on.

So the movie is about these two (factual) grave robbers in the 1800's. Wikipedia them if you want the real life story, 'cuz this movie opens with the best disclaimer ever: "This is a true story. Except for the parts that are not." I feel like every movie that claims to be "based on a true story" should start with this, because I'm not stupid and I know that what they show is barely whatever happened. that was a poorly worded sentence, and I apologize. I'm very tired and I'm just trying to fire this off before going to bed. maybe I'll come back tomorrow and edit this, and possibly add something to it. We'll see how my day at work goes.

Now get the hell of my lawn, I just re-seeded it.

Dungeons and Dragons.

I play D&D. I would play every day if I could. Ideally, I would play for a living, but I think we can all agree that that seems fairly unlikely.

Alright. Now you know how big of a nerd I really am. Although, since all of you who read this know me in real life, i guess you already knew...

It all started back in high school. I think grade 11, but I'm really not sure. could have been 10. Anyhoo, there was a power outage at the school, and school policy was to let us goo after a certain amount of time had past. Well, Lee and I figured that there was no way the power was going to come back on, so we decided to leave school and go hang out at his place. Whilst trying to figure out what to do with our sudden freedom, we started playing with his brothers Lego. Somehow (I'm not entirely sure how) we started making the little dudes battle, and I was like: "This is fun. If only we could put rules to it and stuff," To which Lee replied "We can," and pulled out a Players Handbook. So I made my very first character. It was a Half-Elf Paladin, and we fought a lion that had an Elvis haircut, and a dude with Jar-Jar Bink's head on a chain. It was awesome.

I have played ever since, and it will be a big part of my life forever. I can't wait until I can play with my kids. That'll be fun.

Now get off my lawn, before I beat you down with my +1 mace.

Also, it's Riella's 6 Month Blogiversary! she's giving away a gift card for Aldo to celebrate, so if you wanna win yourself some shoeses, head on over and check it out!

C is for Cun...ning....

Some of my favorite things start with the letter c. Cookies, Cupcakes, Caramel, Cats, Catman.... I could go on.

But I won't. I have to go to bed, so I can get up for work. I wish I could get some Coca-Cola tomorrow, to wash down my Corned Beef Cruissant and Choco-Cherry Love blizzard, which I plan to get after riding my Chocobo to Cloud City, where I'm picking up my brand new Charizard from Carol Channing. Off to hit the hay, then. I hope I dream about a certain Corellian and his Comrade-at-arms Chewbacca.

Ciao!

Batman.

Who's cooler than Batman? Nobody, that's who. Batman is the be all end all in badassery. He's like Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and Sherlock Holmes all rolled into one. I mean, guy had his back broken and still came back to kick more ass. How fucking cool is that?



Not to mention he has some of the best villains ever: The Joker, Bane, Harley Quinn... and Catman...



Yeah... he totally exists... He's like Batmans equal in almost every way. ALMOST, because obviously no-one can be as good as Batman at anything. In fact, in the Batman roleplaying game, his stats are literally the best they can be while still being human. It's kind of ri-donkey-kong.

Also, if you ever have a bomb to get rid of, he's your guy.

And that's why Batman is the awesome-est. Forever.

Now gerrof mah lawn.

This blog post is brought to you by the letter "A"

Okay, so I'm going to try this April A-Z challenge deal. I realize I've technically already failed, but I was too busy watching YouTube for five straight hours yesterday. So this is yesterdays, and I'll post another later on today. Cool beans? Aight.

A. A is for many things. A is for Awesome. A is for Avarice. A is for Alcohol, Aardvark, Apple, Annoying, Art, and soooooooo much more. A is also for.... ready? ALAN SCOTT!

"Who?"

you know.... Alan Scott... the first Green Lantern... found a magical lantern and made a ring out of part of it? Weakness was wood?

Fine. Never mind then.

Like I said, A is for a lot of thingses. I couldn't possibly think of them all. I mean, do you realize how many animals there are that begin with the letter "A?" I don't, but I wouldn't be surprised if this kid does. He has Autism, which, coincidentally, also begins with our letter o the day (yesterday).

Aaaaand I'm spent. I'll see you later, but in the meantime: I pity the fool who doesn't get off my lawn. ("A" is also for A-Team.)

Heroes in A CGI Shell

Okay, so I realize I've been seriously (or "srsly" for all you young hip kids out there.) lacking in the post department, but fuck you, alright? I've been busy having a job which unfortunately, must take up most of my time. I know, lamezors, right?

Anyhoo, for those of you who may not know, way way back in the ninteen eighties secret government employees dug up famous guys and ladies...

Nope, wrong story... let me try again.

Way way back in October 2009, TMNT co-creator Peter Laird sold all intellectual rights to the Turtles to Nickelodeon/Viacom for a tidy sum of sixty million cash dollarz. This has left many fans wondering what will become of the Terrific Terrapins.

Well, we need only wait until late 2012. Nickelodeon has released a sneak peek today, giving us a first glimpse. Check it out here.

Now obviously I can't form any concrete opinions yet, but I'm not entirely pleased with the look. Maybe it will be refined and messed with in the next year, maybe it won't. Either way, I eagerly anticipate the first of the planned 26 episodes, expecting good things from the folks who brought us some damn fine cartoons, like Rugrats, Spongebob, and many others that I really can't think of right now. Oh, Danny Phantom wasn't too bad.

To read Peter Lairds thoughts on the TMNT sale, check out his blog posts here and here.

Because it Sounds Nice Part 2

Alright. So I promised I would post some more of my favorite records from my collection, and I have left it far too long. So, Faithful Readers, prepare to get your nuts smashed in... BY AWESOMETOWN!!

erm... I meant PART 2 OF MY FAVORITE RECORDS LIST!

West Side Story Soundtrack
I believe I mentioned once before in this Blog how I'm a huge fan of musicals? Here's your proof. Before you judge me though, let me just say this: In 1961, "West Side Story" (the movie) won 10 Academy Awards (out of the 11 it was nominated for), including Best Picture and Best Original Score. It is the only musical to have ever won that many Oscars. And for good reason. I love these songs, and so should you. Not to mention how many times WSS has been parodied. That by itself makes it great.

Queen- A Night at the Opera
Freddy Mercury was the greatest frontman in Rock history. Disagree with me if you like, but you'll be wrong. How good is this album? It contains a song that someone I know who dislikes Queen actually enjoyed, which also happens to be my favorite Queen song: '39. However, the awesome doesn't end with that one song. Oh no. We get "The Prophets song," "Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon," and of course "Bohemian Rhapsody." Get a copy of this album if you don't have one already.

Chuck Berry- The London Sessions
Chuck Berry is the King of Rock and Roll, not Elvis. He played that guitar like no one before him and subsequently changed the world of Rock. He was a huge influence on many of the early rockers that we regard so highly, including The Beatles. I mean, so was Elvis, but Chuck Berry is better right? In my mind, Rock music was invented by the African Americans. Of course, we all know now that Chuck learned it from a white guy (curse you, Marty McFly!), but I can comfortably say that Chuck was the best at what he did.

Bob Dylan- Blood on the Tracks
There is nothing I can say about Bob Dylan that somebody, somewhere hasn't said better. So I won't try. I will, however, tell you about this time when I was listening to "Tangled Up In Blue" while I was walking down the street, and I started crying. I don't know why; it's stupid really. But I guess that's what Bob Dylan does: He gets inside you and makes you feel things. That sounded a lot less sexual before I typed it out. Sorry.

The Beatles- With The Beatles
Why is this one of favorites? Mainly because it has some fantastic covers. The Beatles renditions of the Marvelette's "Please Mr. Postman" and the aforementioned Chuck Berry's "Roll Over, Beethoven" (masterfully sung by George Harrison) remain two of my favorite songs of all time. This album also marks Georges first song contribution, in the form of "Don't Bother Me," which I hear he wrote while he was sick in bed. All in all, a fantastic album.

The Beatles- The White Album
Rocky Raccoon. Glass Onion. Blackbird. Helter Skelter. While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Not only is this a list of some of my favorite Beatles songs, but they are all contained on this album. Rolling Stone ranked this album at number 10 on their Top 500 Albums of All Time list. Cool, huh? Anyways, this album marks the crumbling of The Beatles as a band. Ringo quit (for two weeks) while making this album, everybody was pissed at everybody, it seemed, and Yoko was there. Oh yeah, know what else makes this album totally rad? Eric Clapton plays guitar (uncredited) on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." How's that for mega cool?

Okay, I think that's enough for now.

You can stay on my lawn if you like, but be warned that it's covered in dog poop, soo... watch where you sit.

First post of 2011.

Instead of showering, I have decided to post briefly. Your welcome, Internet; I'm sorry everybody around me in real life.

Alright, so I have temporarily abandoned my coloring. I don't like doing it in Photoshop, so GAME OVER. However, I have decided to start giving watercolors a try. What I would really like to do is start coloring some comic book related things with those, but I first need to figure out how to get the inks onto something other than crappy printer paper. This wouldn't be a problem if I could just draw, but I am pretty damn bad at it, so... fuck. I thought about lightboxing it, but the watercolor stock is too thick for that. Suggestions?

In other news, I have a job now.

There was something else I was going to talk about, but cannot seem to remember what it was. This will have to remain a boring post, Readers. Sorry 'bout that. At least I tried, though right? "A" for effort, and all that, eh? No? Whatever, I don't need your arbitrary letter grades anyways.

Get off my A+ lawn. Jerks.