This Quest is too hard...

I've always wanted to be famous. And rich. Ever since I was a little kid. The means by which I've wanted to accomplish this have changed from time to time (Rock star, actor, writer, filmmaker, etc.), but the desire has been there for a very, very long time.

Turns out, it's pretty damn hard to do, especially when you are as lazy as I am.

Speaking of being lazy (if you thought this post was going to be a rant on how hard it is to get famous, then HA HA! I fooled you.) I did nothing this week. I know, what a surprise, right? Well, laugh it up, Fuzzballs, 'cuz that's all going to change starting right Meow. That's right, you heard it here first, suckas. Starting tomorrow, September 26 2010, at whatever time I roll out of bed (probably between 11:00 and Noon), I, Stuart Reginald Phoenix (my middle name is not "Reginald"), am going to start doing... Stuff!

Shock! Amaze! Cardiac Arrest!

I'll start slow. You know, baby steps and all that. I intend to leave my apartment at least once a day! No, no. There's no need to applaud, I just think think the world could use a little more exposure to me. I've been depriving the good people of Vancouver my presence, and for that I apologize, but it's one of those really insincere apologies where you can totally tell I'm just doing it to be polite.

Oh, hey! I just thought of a joke! I'm so lazy, if i were a Pokemon, I'd be a Snorlax! HAH!

Shut up...

Speaking of Pokemon, check out this hilarious (at least, I thought so) fan trailer for a [fake] live-action Pokemon Movie!

More Zelda, Pls.

So after my previous post, I decided to re-play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It is many times easier than I remembered it being, and, in a way, I am a little disappointed. I'm still having a blast though, mainly because I am endlessly amused by the fact that I still remember many of the songs. As much fun as I am having, however, the two main problems with the game have have reared their ugly heads and have already begun to annoy the hell out of me.

The first is, of course, Navi, Link's little fairy companion who says "hey!" and "Hey! Listen!" throughout the entire fucking game, only to give you completely useless information when you actually do bother to talk to her. Not really a problem, I guess, just annoying as all hell.

The second Problem is the lack of control over the camera. I just want to be able to rotate the camera so can see what the hell I'm doing. that's all. Nothing major, but there are just times when it would mean the difference between life and death.

Still an awesome game though; until recently it was the only Zelda game I had ever beaten. I have since beaten Twilight Princess, which was a lot of fun. I might even like it more than I like Ocarina.

You know what creeps me out though? the Great Fairies in Ocarina. They are absolutely terrifying. I've had nightmares, seriously. Their creepy laughter when you summon them, the sparkles that fly out of the vaginas when they give you powers... Stuff of horror, I tells ya.



See? See? Nightmares! Guaaaaaah!

Interesting Title

Remember those cookies I was talking about? They were awesome. You should be jealous, that's how good they were.

Moving on...

Here's something that has been bugging the hell out of me lately. Have you noticed that lately fewer and fewer movies seem to be coming out that are actually fairly original ideas? They all seem to be remakes of tv shows from the 80's, or based on a book, or a comic, or a remake of an original movie, or SOMETHING. Now, I'm sure that now that I've said this you are all thinking of a bajillion movies to throw at me that are nice original storyline with unique characters, however, the ones that are advertised relentlessly, the ones I see the most? Such is not the case, friends, and I don't know why, but I find it very unsettling, as though all the originality in movies is dying out. I mean, I know movies have been made based on books and what-not since, well, since they started making movies... I dunno. Just something I've noticed.

Speaking of movies being based on stuff, check out this trailer the folks at IGN.com put together for a fake Legend of Zelda movie. It looks amazing. Someone needs to convince Nintendo that this movie would make huge amounts of dollarz. Check it out here.

Well, that's all I got for now. However, I would like to know who you think would make a good Link, or Zelda, or Gannondorf if they were to do a movie. And if you don't know who those characters are, then you probably have no reason to be reading this, and might not have any reason for being my friend.


Until next time, Get offa my lawn, you damn kids!

Oops!

Soooo... I kinda forgot about my blog. That's my bad, Faithful Reader(s). However, I'm back, and still unemployed! Hooray! so what happened this month? Funny you should ask that, because I planned on telling you anyway. So... what happened...

Not a lot, really. Surprise!

I made cookies tonight, which turned out awesome. Peanut butter oatmeal, bitches! I have no cookie sheet (we accidentally melted plastic onto our last one) so I had to build one out of tin foil. I rolled the sides up to make it a little stiffer and everything. Fear my improvisational kitchen wizardry! Muahaha! Soon all shall cower before my Tin Foil cookie sheet... OF DOOM!